Though Paul addressed wives first, he spent more time instructing the husbands. The standard for a husband’s behavior toward his wife is clear, namely, the way Christ treats the Church. We saw yesterday that men are to sacrifice for their wives. In our passage today, Paul dresses up this idea with the imagery of a groom and his bride.

A husband should have as his goal to “sanctify” his wife. The word can also be translated, “to make holy.” It means he should treat his wife as special, set apart from all other women. She is not his servant or second class resident in the home. She is like fine china, not throw-away paper plates. His behavior toward her makes her feel special, not taking advantage of her for his own benefit.

Unfortunately, many men focus on “women’s submission” yet never give any thought to their responsibility to meet her unique feminine needs. The story of creation shows that if God was intending for Adam to simply have a servant, then animals would have sufficed. Man, however, needed a valued partner, someone like him. The two, male and female, were both made in the image of God (Gen 1:27). And in our passage today we are told she needs him to treat her as special, different than all other women. The questions every husband needs to ask himself are, “Does my wife know that I think she is special?” and “Does she understand my behavior as reflecting that I think she is special?”

The husband’s role also includes helping her become beautiful (“in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing”). To be sure, there is an outward beauty that even the writers of Scripture recognize (e.g. Gen 29:17, Job 42:15). More importantly is the beauty of the inner woman: “Your adornment must not be merely external … but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:3-4). While compliments concerning external beauty are appropriate and valued in building up one’s wife, the more important effort should be to build up the inner beauty, in helping his wife become more like Christ, indeed, holy and blameless, resting in the security of her husband’s love. There is a unique quality in femininity that responds well to the masculine affirmation of her beauty, not just the outer appearance, but also the inner woman.