As we have written earlier, there is no greater submission than to submit one’s entire life for the sake of another. A husband may put down the newspaper and take out the garbage for his wife. That is loving submission to her needs. He will sacrifice his sports time to encourage his wife with some quality time with her. He will be sensitive to her emotional, spiritual and intellectual needs. The things concerning her will be concerns of his.

Now there is a difference in how this submission looks. But, make no mistake, submission is a two-way street. The wife submits to the husband for leadership and ultimate responsibility for the relationship, for he is the “head.” He, on the other hand, submits to her needs, not to her leadership. But it is precisely at this point so many men fail. They feel a personal right, selfishly (or if they desire pseudo-biblical justification, a biblical right) to do as they please, making decisions and acting like the master of the house. That is not how Christ loved the church. He submitted Himself, in love to the Father and in love for us, to the cross. His ultimate statement of love, His ultimate sacrifice, His ultimate submission to our wellbeing—He died for us, for our salvation, for our eternity, saving us from punishment of hell. His whole life, living as He did in obedience to the Father, was lived for our benefit.

So, likewise, a husband should love his wife in the same way, sacrificially. This means more than taking the garbage out. It means the husband leads his wife (and family) with the goal of doing what is best for them, sacrificing his own wants and desires. It may mean passing up on a job promotion that would require more stress and time away from home. It may mean listening to his wife when they get home from work, rather than spending time in his own selfish pursuits. Women can see this clearly as simply the way men ought to be in a relationship. For men, these things seem like huge sacrifices—just as Christ made a huge sacrifice. Most men fancy throwing themselves in front of a speeding truck while pushing their woman out of the way – a momentary demonstration of heroism. But as the saying goes, it is easy for a man to shed his last drop of blood—however, it is the first drop that is the most difficult. So with a man, the greatest sacrifices of love may indeed be the small ones. Time spent listening, seeking her counsel, talking, sharing, encouraging, leading with her best interests in mind. This is true submission of one’s own desires for the good of another—this is love that God commands of the husband for his wife.