Submission is a good thing, once we get past the abrasive, self-centered individualism of our western culture. It provides a key to all relationships. This can be found even within God Himself. Jesus, who was perfect in every way submitted Himself to His Father, “Not my will be done, but yours.” Lest we interpret that to refer to His human nature only, Paul makes it clear that His submissive attitude will remain for all eternity, “When all things are subjected to Him, then the Son Himself also will be subjected to the One who subjected all things to Him, so that God may be all in all” (1 Corinthians 15:28) .

Submission is a way of life for Christians. “Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed” (Titus 3:1, see also 1 Peter 2:13). The younger should be submissive to those who are older, “You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5).

Notice that submissiveness correlates with humbleness. This is a voluntary thing, not a coerced submission. True biblical submission is the act and attitude of giving preference to another’s leadership. Submission that is forced, or manipulated, or guilted is not biblical submission.

In marriage, wives base their relational submission to their husbands on the model of the church submitting to Christ. That means she will follow the husband’s lead willingly, not just by the letter of the law. The church (that is, the people of God), ideally follows the lead of Christ joyfully. When we don’t understand or we may at times disagree with God (I am not speaking audaciously), being a believer means we know that His ways are above our ways, His thoughts higher than our thoughts. So we still follow Him Christ faithfully.

Now there is a difference with following the lead of a husband. Christ is perfect, a husband is not. Christ never makes mistakes, husbands do—and they sin. This is not an isolated teaching that can be used to establish male sovereignty where a wife submits like a slave. No! Christ doesn’t force submission, neither should a husband. Remember biblical submission only has meaning when there is freedom to act otherwise, not dictated by the letter of the law. There is a greater submission that God requires of the husband, which we shall see next.