⁸But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Benevolence starts in the home. The primary care for the needy rests first and foremost with those closest to the situation. The nuclear family unit is God’s foundational plan for society. At the very beginning, when God placed humankind on this planet, we read:

God said . . . “Be fruitful and multiply . . . [A] a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen. 1:28, 2:24)

As the story goes, Adam and Eve had no physical father or mother, but the principle was recorded in dramatic form, clearly to be an enduring instruction. The modern phrase “nuclear family” refers to that social unit composed of two parents (father and mother) with children. Of course, today, families take many forms whose description is usually put in contrast to the nuclear family. Paul stands on this principle in dealing with the social needs of widows.

The primary responsibility for helping women who have lost their husbands rests with their families. Obviously, without the husband, the nuclear family, in its precise form, has been altered. When Paul refers to providing “for his own” in the sense of close relationship, this would suggest the closest relatives or next of kin. First of all would come adult children (“especially for those of his household”). This means each person has primary responsibility for looking after the needs of his or her widowed mothers, sisters, or daughters. We could easily see an expanding circle of responsibility, beginning with those closest to the woman.

Church benevolence and sharing are to be generous, but that generosity does not give license to individuals to slough off their responsibilities and “let the church take care of her.” Paul writes quite tersely here. Failure to take this responsibility seriously is tantamount to denying the faith; in other words, it puts the lie to the love of God that transforms people into Christlikeness. Further, casting a widow onto the church for support when close relatives can provide for her is worse than even unbelievers (or “infidels,” as the old KJV renders it). Pretty harsh words. Hyperbole? Exaggeration to make a point? I don’t think so. Even pagans don’t neglect their widows! Christian love comes from relationships that have been transformed by Christlikeness. That is not institutional, but immensely grace-filled, love motivated, and Spirit-empowered.

Lord, help me be aware of the needs of those around me, especially widows.