“Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.”

The flip side of commitment to the partner’s sexual satisfaction is the command not to deprive that person of what is rightfully his or hers. Certainly, Paul could speak of the covenant commitment of marriage, but he focuses on the practical side of the matter.

But why would anyone want to deprive their spouse of sex? A wife might withhold sex from her husband as a way to manipulate him. She may restrict the frequency of sex because of her desires rather than recognizing his as legitimate. A husband can deprive his wife by not understanding what her sexual needs are in the first place. He may deprive her from the multi-dimensional needs for emotional intimacy in sex, all because of his driving physical need. He may deprive her by wasting his sexual energy on pornography.

There are many ways husbands and wives may deprive each other. But when they do, they are playing with fire, for Satan is very involved in sexual temptation, in order to break up marriages. Paul, being the realist, recognizes that sexual desire is extremely powerful, and its temptations stretch to the limit of self-control. Marriage, among the many other things it brings, provides an outlet for this sexual desire that keeps it within bounds. Paul is not reducing marriage to simply a safeguard against unlawful sexual expression, as though that is all there is to marriage. Again, we must remember, Paul is answering questions the Corinthians asked to be addressed. Sex in marriage does indeed reduce, though not eliminate, sexual temptation.

When Paul writes, “I say by way of concession,” he does not mean that marriage has no other value. He goes on to say in different ways that there is certainly an ideal benefit in being single, but most will not be able to do it. So he wishes, as a personal expression of his passion for unmitigated sacrifice and service to the Lord, that all could be like him. Yet he recognizes that not all are gifted with the ability to live the single life and have success in combatting the temptations of sex. So he asserts that within marriage, the natural desire for sexual enjoyment is something to be enjoyed for each other’s sake. And the only time when this might be legitimately curtailed is during limited times of prayer.

Lord, I ask that You help my brothers and sisters who do not have the benefit of marriage to resist in their struggle with sexual temptation.