“But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

Regardless of gender role distinctions in Scripture, there is to be sexual parity in marriage. This seems an odd thing to be addressed in Scripture. However, the Bible does not shy away from things having to do with sex. The Song of Solomon exalts amorous love, and some are shocked at its frank depictions of physical enjoyments. So here, in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, he is no Victorian prude. He is simply addressing the problems they were experiencing because of rampant, uncontrolled sex.

The present-day irony is that the unbelieving world thinks itself sophisticated enough to set its own rules of free sexual expression to be enjoyed so long as no one is hurt. This is a rather ludicrous assertion because at the heart of the world’s reality on this matter is self-indulgence—two people using each other for their own gratification. God’s design, though, is to focus on the needs of the other. Sex and intimacy is a responsibility, something to give. And this applies equally to both a husband and a wife. This is why Christians speak of sex in the committed, long-term relationship of marriage.

The basic desire and need for sex is implied and does not need to be overtly stated. Like eating, sexual desire is evident in life experience. But like eating, sex uncontrolled can wreak destruction in the Christian’s life. Another basic principle for the Christian view of sex, therefore, is that each marriage partner is responsible for the sexual enjoyment of the other.

We are tempted to say that the man’s enjoyment of sex is assumed, and that he should make sure his wife enjoys the sexual relationship as well. Or a man may use this passage to coerce his wife to satisfy his every sexual wish. However, God says through Paul’s inspired writing that His formula for sex, as He intends it, comes through putting the other person’s sexual needs before one’s own. Although this passage uses the word “authority” and “duty,” it falls in line with Paul’s later teaching about love in sacrificial terms. Since all of the Christian life is to model after Christ’s sacrifice of Himself, so too is sex just one area of sacrificial expression of love, where each is submitting his own desires for the sake of the other person’s desire. This truly makes for a great sexual relationship within marriage.

Lord, I confess to the times I have seen sex only in terms of my enjoyment.