Six times in the NT, God reiterates this command to honor parents, many  times through the words of Jesus. The activity of honoring someone is common in Scripture. Jesus honored His Father, the Father honored the Son, we are to honor God, God honors us, the church is to honor widows, etc. So what does it mean to honor someone, seeing that this is an important topic, especially for children? The underlying idea means “to estimate value, assess.” One lexicon puts it this way: “To attribute high status to or respect someone.” To honor someone is to treat them as of great value and significance.

Our passage today focuses on children’s behavior and attitude toward parents. Certainly, parents everywhere know the basic command well. In children, “honoring” is equated with “obeying.” This word “obey” is to be contrasted with the word “submit” that was emphasized in the previous chapter of Ephesians. Submission is to be a general attitude of all Christians toward each other (Eph 5:21). This, we saw, characterizes the marriage relationship. However, with children a different word is used. They are to “obey” their parents.

This is not a blind, legalistic obedience separate from a relationship with the parents. A child must learn to view his or her parents with great respect. Whether the parent is worthy of that respect is dealt with in the next verse. Suffice it to say the first responsibility of a child is to honor the parent.

Why is this so important? Verse three gives us the answer. It is a wise, practical answer. Honoring parents comes with a promise from God – there is a benefit to the child. Inherently all the commands of God entail the promise of blessing as opposed to cursing. His laws are not capricious. But the command to honor parents has the promise clearly stated (see Exodus 20:12), “so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” Thus, for children the emphasis on the results is clearly laid out.

Everything else is affected by how well they learn this principle: a good life and a long life. We may question whether this is the case in every single circumstance. However, in learning to obey parents, a child is saved from serious consequence of foolish, self-centered behavior that has a detrimental effect on the length and quality of his life. For example, a child obeying his father not to ride his bike in the street is less likely to be hit by a car than one who disobeys.