We are spending multiple days on this passage for a reason. Not that we are obsessed with the subject, but because the world has got it so wrong and erroneous thinking has almost completely eclipsed the beauty of marriage as God intended it. It has infected many Christian minds as well. The result has not been better marriages. In fact, at the time of this writing it is being reported that more children in the US are being born out of wedlock than in wedlock. Marriage itself is being marginalized today.

God invented marriage and He has given us instruction through the Bible on how best marriage should work. His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9), so His plan for marriage is far superior to any other. It is true that all believers are called to be subject to one another (vs. 21). That is what Spirit-filled living is all about. We submit to one another out of a grateful heart, in a Spirit-controlled way, out of respect for (“fear” of) the Lord. Our commitment to unity in the body, the theme of Ephesians, means the Christian will readily set aside his own needs and desires and live so as to build others up as he or she serves them. However, submission looks different in different relationships. And this is true in the context of the husband/wife relationship.

Paul describes what submission looks like for the wives, using the church’s submission to Christ as the analogy. Then he goes on to show what submission looks like for the husband. Just as the unstated verb submission is supplied in verse 22 by the general principle of verse 21, so also the concept of submission also carries into verse 25 for the husband. It is true, in vs. 25 a verb is already there, husbands are to love their wives. However, love is not a different word or concept than submission, it is a greater word. There is no greater submission than to love another person. Jesus defined love this way, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Love is submitting one’s life in totality for the wellbeing of another.

For the wife (we will address the husband later), the standard of her submission is connected to her husband being the “head.” The underlying Greek word, kephale, when used metaphorically refers to one in authority. For example, a CEO is the head of the corporation. Christ is the head of the church (1 Cor 11:3). So also, the husband is the head of the wife. The wife should respond to her husband’s leadership as the church ought to respond to Christ, its head.