To the good fortune of all Christians everywhere, I never became a professional gospel singer or musician. I dreamt of it when I became a Christian, thinking about how best to serve the Lord. Oh, I could grab a handful of ivories on the keyboard and strum a few chords on the guitar, the quality of which was suspect to most people besides myself. The glory and tone of my voice was not appreciated by anyone, all of whom surely lacked an ear for superior talent. Recording equipment in the early 1970s had not advanced technically enough to capture the delicate nuances of my vocal tones. Eventually, though, tragically to my ego, I came to the honest conclusion that begs humility, that even I could not, without wincing, listen to my recordings on the old reel-to-reel. After 50 years, even with the tech abilities to finely tweak the sound, you will find no recordings of me singing or playing online, anywhere!

Someone passed along the wisdom that to discover one’s spiritual gifts, one should try each one on for size to see what fits and which God uses to bless others. Since music wasn’t to be that blessing, I turned my efforts to try my hand (er, my voice) at preaching. My first attempts at preaching as a young believer in my early 20s were met with tremendous accolades—by an elderly woman in the small congregation who quietly said: “That was nice.” It was a start, I thought; you need to hold on to encouragement from any source.

I was too young in the faith and hadn’t had enough time to polish my oratory skills, so I studied ventriloquism. I thought having an entertaining prop for preaching to children would be a great idea. I spent a year practicing it (maybe just a few months). But at the time, I couldn’t afford the dummy (still paying off my college and car loans), rendering me the dummy for wasting my time learning about it.

So, I went through the various spiritual gifts. Faith healing didn’t work for me despite my claims against Satan and sickness. I tried speaking in tongues, as a Pentecostal preacher once told me to do, sounding out a word repeatedly until the verbiage began to flow. It was more like linguistic compost that made me feel silly (and embarrassed). The gift of wisdom? Well, I was just a young guy, and the esteemed older men of the church’s Sanhedrin didn’t put much stock in my proclamations about applying Scripture to everyday problems and issues.

What kept me going through all my failures and inadequacies was a verse given to me by my mentor at my baptism:

Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. (1 Timothy 4:12)

My first thought was, “What’s so special about that verse? Everyone should do that.” I was hoping for my own unique commissioning from God, something that would make me stand out. But, with everything I tried on for size, I discovered there were others, many others, who were more gifted and could do it much better than I could! Now, after all these years as a Christian, that is still the reality! And the young bucks coming up are doing far better than I have ever done: they can preach better, lead better, serve better, give better, you name it.

As I have gotten older, I’ve hopefully gotten wiser, and I have learned that God is more concerned about my spiritual character than my spiritual contributions. He often assigned me tasks, not because I was gifted and could do them better than others, but because I was available and others were not. Moses, for example, was hindered by his lack of oratorical skill (he had a stuttering problem), yet God wanted him to confront one of the most powerful men in the world at that time, and to lead God’s people out of Egyptian bondage. He promised, “I will be with you” (Ex. 3:12). God is looking for people who are passionate about Him and willing to do whatever He calls them to do. And He will us despite our limitations (However, it is still to the good fortune of all that I didn’t bull my way through trying to become a professional Christian singer or musician, which God never asked me to do!)

Now, at my age, no one can look down on my youthfulness, but I don’t want anyone to look down on my elder-age either. The verse remains essential at both ends of life:

Let no one look down on you’re your [or old age] but in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. (1 Timothy 4:12 emphasis added).

Lord, may I be an example to others of how someone with limited and marginal giftedness can reflect Your character in speech, conduct, faith, and purity.