The last chapter of Proverbs describes and extols the “woman of excellence.” While many women pour over photographs, magazines and websites for tips to become more beautiful, godly women have poured over, studied and sought to emulate the woman of Proverbs 31. The multi-billion-dollar cosmetics industry continues to grow along with the money spent on fashion, coiffures and jewelry. The attention to female beauty is astounding when looked at objectively. However, attention to inner character is far more important.

Outward appearances are something we all appreciate. We are wired to enjoy beauty. Men enjoy female beauty, and women desire to be attractive or feel pretty. However, we live in a fallen world where the trait of external attractiveness is not evenly distributed, and the healthy enjoyment of beauty can easily go off the rails. Comparisons drive unhealthy obsessions with outward appearance, and this fuels body-image disorders where a woman’s perception of her personal worth hinges on her external appearance. Pornography is the other extreme, where beauty is divorced from relationship and inordinately focuses on outward appearance that feeds an out-of-control drive to meet one’s sexual desires—all in a superficial way.

The book of Proverbs speaks truth from three millenniums ago that cuts across all cultures and epochs. There are two paths presented, personified by the female voice calling out to all who will listen to follow the path of wisdom and the tempting invitation of the wayward woman leading down the path of foolishness. The latter is described picturesquely as an adulterous woman highlighting the allurement of outward beauty presented in tempting form (chapters 1-9). The former is the voice of wisdom, fleshed out in the woman of Proverbs 31. This is fascinating since the teaching of wisdom in this book of Proverbs is couched in a father’s instruction to his son, yet the final chapter shows us wisdom as seen in a virtuous woman. There are many layers to this, but we finish this study of (or shall we say introduction to) the book of Proverbs with this final topic.

Some have observed that this description of a woman comes from a male perspective (that of King Lemuel, Prov. 31:1). However, we must be quick to add that it reflects the teaching that he received from his mother:

The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him … (Prov. 31:1)

The chapter begins with Lemuel’s recollections of his mother’s warnings against wasting his energy on women: “Do not give your strength to women or your ways to that which destroys kings” (Prov. 31:3). As a man, he is still guided by his mother’s admonition. This is quite apropos since, as a king, he had virtually no external restraints in the womanizing department (see King Solomon’s example and the consequences they caused). What mother does not warn her growing boy about wayward girls? This concern reprised the warning against the young man of Proverbs 1-9 who is led astray by the temptress woman of folly.

However, his mother also warned Lemuel about the influence of alcohol on his ability to rule well (Prov. 31:4-5). There is a caveat for the use of alcohol as a sedative to a dying person (vs. 6), but also, drink can be used for a person whose life is bitter and poverty-stricken. This latter thought may be laced with a bit of satire, but the idea is that alcohol is not befitting a king who wishes to govern righteously and defend the poor, afflicted and needy. These are the very ones who could easily turn to drink to drown out their sorrows.

In finishing the book of Proverbs, though, the focus turns to the “excellent wife” (NASB, ESV). The Hebrew word is translated variously as “wife of noble character” (NIV, NET), “Virtuous and capable wife” (NLT) and “virtuous wife” (NKJV). This is a similar description of Ruth, the wife of Boaz, who had a reputation for being “a woman of excellence” (Ruth 3:11).

The Hebrew word, hayil, carries the sense of physical strength but can also refer to ability. Sometimes the Scripture uses this word for military power. It is also used to describe a “valiant young man” (1 Kings 1:42). The overriding notion of this word is that it represents someone strong in relation to the context in which it is being used. An army is hayil in relationship to military strength. The woman being considered in the context of Proverbs 31:10 is hayil in relationship to the attributes that follow. Thus the English translators summarize this “strength” with words like “excellent,” “noble,” “virtuous” and “capable”—and the following verses, Proverbs 31:11-31, flesh this out.

This chapter presents the epitome of what it means to be an excellent, noble, virtuous and capable woman—a high standard indeed. No woman can fulfill this picture perfectly, just as no person (man or woman) can be perfectly wise. The core of this for women (as it is for men) is repeated in various forms throughout the book of Proverbs, “A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Prov. 31:30b). The “fear of the Lord” is central and should drive us to always strive to become more like the “epitome” and not be discouraged by our shortcomings.

While this book couches the teaching of wisdom in the motif of a father teaching his son, it is fitting that the last word goes to women, in the form of a mother’s instruction to her son about women. After all, this section on an excellent wife immediately follows Lemuel’s mother’s warnings to her son about not wasting his energy on many women. We take it that the teaching about an excellent wife is directed primarily to Lemuel: this is what he should value in a wife. Young, God-fearing men should look for a potential wife who is striving to be a virtuous woman. A married man should affirm his wife’s seeking for the same. This is to be valued far above jewels (Prov. 31:10) and more than charm and beauty (Prov. 31:30).

We leave the details of this description of an “excellent wife” to the reader’s meditation. We would also encourage women to avail themselves of the many writings of godly women who teach and help others apply this chapter’s wisdom (see Titus 2:3-5). Suffice it to say that the bar is set high for both men of Proverbs and women of Proverbs. While our perspectives and applications may differ due to our roles in the culture in which we find ourselves, we should all strive to be wise people of Proverbs.

Lord, I know I have a long way to go, but I thank You that I am wiser now than when I was younger. Help me continue growing in wisdom as I endeavor to live in the shadow of Your great and awesome authority.