²⁰My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; ²¹bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck. ²²When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you. ²³For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; and reproofs for discipline are the way of life ²⁴to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.

Educators tell us that the number one influence on a child is his or her home life. The Bible, a great authority by far, tells us that parental instruction enormously impacts a child’s learning about life and character, about dealing with life’s difficulties and conflicts. In short, the way a person handles life in a fallen world is largely fashioned by the parents. This is especially true in our time in history, which is marked by increasingly secular government-run schools, unfettered social media use, and the ever-growing film and video media industry. Children are being inculcated into an alternate way of perceiving reality through video games and virtual reality experiences. Animated graphics blur the line between reality and imagination. The absurdity extends to people desiring and taking physical and medical steps to change their gender. As Scripture says, “There is no fear of God before their eyes” (Rom. 3:18, Ps. 36:1).

Solomon writes within the Jewish frame of reference, where God is central and parents follow the Law of Moses. Of course, in everyday life, parents fall short of God’s expectations. But from the earliest times, God made His plan clear: the primary teaching role for children lies with parents. The Lord must be first in the hearts of His people, and then the parents must pass this love of God to their children by teaching them His Word. In what we might call the founding documents of Israel, the Pentateuch—the first five books of the Bible, generally called the Law of Moses—we read:

“Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deut. 6:4–9)

Writing hundreds of years later, Solomon builds on this foundation as he teaches about wisdom for dealing with life. He repeatedly emphasizes parental influence as far back as Proverbs 1:8 with a warning to resist when “sinners entice you.” Here the warning is given concerning sexual enticement. We note that the instruction to the son includes not only the father’s teachings but also the mother’s. A young man (and, by extension, a young woman) needs both the male and female perspective, especially when resisting fleshly temptation.

One might attribute the emphasis on sex in Proverbs (at least in the first nine chapters) on Solomon’s own obsession and struggle. After all, he had a thousand wives and concubines, who eventually turned his heart away to idolatry.

[Solomon] had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, and his wives turned his heart away. For when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. (1 Kings 11:3–4)

What kind of authority is he on the subject of sexual temptation? By his own admission and the implication that he did not follow his life example and the teachings of his father, Solomon wrote:

All that my eyes desired I did not refuse them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure … (Eccl. 2:10)

His failure in the area of sexuality (how else can we understand the multiplicity of wives and concubines?) positioned him to speak of the dangers of enticement, primarily that it turns a person away from God. Anyone teaching on the subject of wisdom indeed steps into his own line of fire; Solomon is no exception. God uses his understanding of wisdom combined with the example of his own failure to teach us. We might imagine Solomon saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.” While this is a sad commentary on his life, we gain immense wisdom from his teaching, and his life demonstrates the consequences of not living out wisdom. We could further imagine Solomon saying, “Been there, done that, you don’t want to go there!”

The power of sexual temptation requires a solid adherence to parental teaching when a person is young. Yet, this is ultimately an analogy for the enticement to live foolishly. As the Law of Moses says:

“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.” (Deut. 5:16)

Lord, now that I am an adult and not under my parents’ direct authority, help me sort through their teachings to discover the things they may have imparted to me that can help me live wisely, and to identify and remove any foolishness they warned me about.