¹⁵Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. ¹⁶Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? ¹⁷Let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you. ¹⁸Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. ¹⁹As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love.

God in His Word does not shy away from talking about sex for, after all, He designed it, and He knows best how it can be thoroughly enjoyed—and make no mistake, God intends sex to be enjoyed. It is a beautiful, exciting adventure with many discoveries that can only be found through a long-term relationship together, immersed in love and commitment—a journey meant to be taken together in complete unity. Our text uses descriptive words and phrases like “blessed,” “rejoice,” “satisfy,” and “be exhilarated.”

God’s design is not for a fleeting moment of wild, illicit passion. That kind of experience, to which Solomon alludes, needs little description beyond what we have read about a young man’s desire for a titillating and sensual experience. Although illicit sex feels like fireworks for the moment, the experience misses the depths of sexuality and the fullness of the sexual adventure to be discovered in God’s design for our enjoyment and satisfaction. Hollywood exalts the momentary pleasure but ignores the superficiality and dysfunction. It is all a lie of Satan to undermine something far better!

The complement to resisting sexual temptation, then, is to seek the greatest enjoyment of sex, which God designed for a committed, monogamous relationship in marriage. The desire for sex is unquestionable in the general human experience. It certainly provides for a continuous and enjoyable fulfillment of God’s first command, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it …” (Gen. 1:28). But sin has hampered God’s design for sex to go hand in hand with subduing the earth; now we humans must first subdue ourselves, beginning with the most basic of human desires, our sexual impulse. And the difficulty with this is well evident in the human experience.

How interesting that this subject is cast in terms of wisdom. One can be wise, as Solomon was, but be a complete failure in reigning in the sexual impulse. In the end, though, this failure results in vanity, as Solomon discovered. His wisdom about the matter, though, is sound, for God has included his teaching in Holy Scripture as inspired wisdom. Wisdom teaches us to complement the difficult task of saying “No” to illicit sexual temptation with intentionally saying “Yes” to enjoying sex thoroughly within God’s boundaries.

Therefore, God speaks through Solomon’s words about enjoying sex within marriage. It is not just about creating babies. God put the desire for the sexual experience in us. Therefore, He enjoys it when we enjoy it—and wisdom tells us that the greatest enjoyment is not giving in to temptation that will bring unexpected failure in our lives. A thirsty person who ravenously drinks salt water to quench his thirst will die because of it. God wants something far better for us: to drink, metaphorically speaking, from our own cistern of fresh water. With a mixture of metaphors, we should not waste our good water in the streets. The idea is that we should enjoy sex in our own home with our own spouse, not with someone else. The phrase “rejoice in the wife of your youth” speaks to a long-term, exclusive relationship versus a quick flash-in-the-pan experience.

Verse 19 could be seen as a miniature sex manual of sorts; it certainly encourages the physical, sensual enjoyment of sexual touching. The descriptive term “be exhilarated” should put to rest the old notion that sex is only for procreation and that admitting to enjoying it is somehow sub-spiritual! This is a wonderful endorsement of a pleasurable physical activity. But it must be guarded within the protective boundaries of marriage.

Single folks, widows and widowers, and those in dysfunctional relationships might not resonate with the teaching here. But the principles of the metaphorical illustration still teach us about wisdom and folly. This passage presents an antidote to illicit sex, which is supremely inferior and ultimately less satisfying than sex within marriage. In the same way, giving in to foolish living is inferior and not as gratifying as choosing to live wisely. Foolishness tempts us with short-term results but devastates us long term. Living wisely is like cultivating a long-term, loving, committed relationship with a spouse that is very satisfying and exhilarating.

How can we avoid the failure of Solomon, who failed to live by his own wise advice? For this, we can turn to his father, the godly man David, who learned to guard his heart:

How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. With all my heart I have sought You; Do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You. (Psalm 119:9–11)

Lord, give me the wisdom of Solomon and also the heart of David. Amen.