It is no secret that, at least in the western world, more women than men follow the Lord closely. Our sisters in the Lord make the time to gather for prayer, Bible study, and fellowship more easily and readily than our brothers in Christ. Sociologists are better suited to understand why this is, and Christians all have their rationale. But what can be done about this?

I don’t know that I have the ultimate solution, but do I know something that has worked in my life and provided me with the “iron-sharpens-iron” fellowship that I need. For most of my adult life, I have been in full-time, vocational Christian service for the Lord, but that doesn’t replace fellowship where I can be myself and allow other men into my life as equals before the Lord. I need other men in my life—for my benefit! Doing ministry will never replace the fellowship needs I can only get when I gather with Christian brothers for our mutual spiritual benefit.

For close to thirty years, I have been meeting with groups of men in the early morning hours before work for fellowship, Scripture reading, prayer, encouragement, and spiritual challenge. I don’t teach at this time; I am just a participant along with the men. This arrangement first began when I had announced to the church that I wanted to start an early morning (6 a.m.) men’s fellowship. One brother showed up, and that was it. He said, “I suppose you will want to give up on this idea if no one else shows up.” My response was, “Let’s continue with just you and me and see if anyone wants to join us.”

Craig and I met for the entire year, just the two of us, reading one chapter of Scripture each time, praying together on our knees, interacting—we had a great time. The following year, we again put out the invitation, and two or three other men joined us. Each year it grew until the Lord led me to another city and ministry. But when I left six or seven years later, we had ten to fifteen men consistently meeting every Wednesday morning before work, praying on our knees, reading Scripture, and connecting. Some of us also went to breakfast afterward, where we continued our fellowship.

In the new city, the same thing happened. A group of men began meeting, small at first but growing over time; we called ourselves “The Band of Brothers.” We met at lunchtime from home to home, or sometimes in a park or a local college chapel room. Later we changed to breakfast time at a local restaurant. This group continues to this day, after twenty-five years! Last I heard (I moved once again a few years ago), they were meeting in a restaurant, where a few Christian customers joined the group. Of course, it has morphed over the years, but God has provided an avenue for quite a few men to meet together and encourage one another.

Now my wife and I attend a church in another part of the country. How do I get to know other men amid a huge crowd? My son introduced me to a brother who invited me to a men’s group on Wednesday mornings at 6:30 a.m. And a group of us began going out to breakfast afterward! It was like déjà vu, stepping back home; the atmosphere was similar, with men praying, reading Scriptures, and sharing their lives. It felt like putting on an old shoe—very comfortable and familiar. They called themselves “The Morning Crew.” Recently, a retired Navy fighter pilot called it “The Squadron of the Lord.”

To the men reading this, let me encourage you to find a group of Christian men, make the sacrifice to join them, and grow in your faith together with them. I need it, and so do you. Your wives will not begrudge the time spent doing this one morning a week, for more than anything else, they want you to grow and be the spiritual leader whom God designed you to be. A men’s group will help you become that.