2You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. 3You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.
The progression of conflict follows a similar pattern to the progression of the benefit of trials (James 1:2–4), and the development of sin (James 1:14–16). James’ illustrations and descriptions of life struggles show him to be a gifted communicator—and the Holy Spirit uses his giftedness uniquely in this letter. His analysis here of interpersonal conflict is poignant and evocative. If we outline this teaching, we can see the literary structure more clearly:
You lust because you do not have
Result: You commit murder
You are envious and cannot obtain
Result: You fight and quarrel
You do not have
Cause: You do not ask
You ask but do not receive
Cause: You ask with wrong motives so that you may spend it on your pleasures.
This analysis explains that the root source of interpersonal conflict is our desire to fulfill our pleasures; everything else follows. The great irony is that God is the giver of all good things, and all we need to do is ask Him for what we need, for what is good for us:
Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. (James 1:17)
However, like Adam and Eve in the garden, we think we know better than God what is good for us (Gen. 3:1–6). Our thinking is confused by the temptations of the flesh toward self-fulfillment, self-enjoyment, self-pleasure. We are self-centered, which pushes other people aside. Rather than being a channel of God’s good gifts to others (right motive), we grab for what we think is good for us (wrong motive) and see others as obstacles to fulfilling our lusts.
Wisdom teaches us that God is better positioned to know what is good for us, and we can trust Him more than our own lustful hearts. So then, by faith, I ought to look at conflict in terms of how I can be God’s gift to others.
Lord, help me see ways to be a blessing to others, even when I feel wronged.
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