²⁴The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, ²⁵with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, ²⁶and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.

The effort to avoid foolish, pseudo-pious arguments comes from godly character. Of course, no one likes conflict, but it can easily grab us by the throat, creating a knee-jerk reaction of retaliation—even when we don’t want it. Rather than setting down rules, Paul prescribes that our inner character will do more to settle quarrels than any amount of human-inspired mediation or conflict resolution. It begins in our Christlike character.

At the core, we Christians must not be quarrelsome. This should be true of all believers, but especially those whom Paul addresses as “[t]he Lord’s bond-servant[s].” The underlying Greek word is “dulos,” which is simply a servant. The NIV and ESV translate this as “the Lord’s servant.” Setting the example of humility, Paul referred to himself as a “bond-servant of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:1, Rom. 1:1, Gal. 1:10). All of us, at best, are mere servants of our Lord. And if anyone desires to self-identify in the same way, he must not be a quarrelsome Christian. Paul especially points this out to elders, the prime example of spiritual maturity, when he wrote, “An overseer must be … not … pugnacious,” which means not quarrelsome or a verbal fighter (1 Tim. 3:2–3, Titus 1:7).

Harsh, harmful words easily escape our lips in the moment of anger. Pride, fear, insecurity, and selfishness often stoke the conflict. We must be kind in the face of temptation to quarrel. We must be patient and gentle when attempting to correct others (see Gal. 6:1). Only God can make changes at that level in people’s lives.

The true spiritual test of our motive in dealing with conflict is how we pray for our adversary. In bringing the matter to God, we show that the conflict is more than getting our way, or bringing the other person to concede our rightness. In prayer, we submit to the truth that God is interested in this turmoil, and He is the Peacemaker.

If repentance is needed, the Lord can make that happen. That is a mark of His grace. And if that is true for the other person, it is also true for us! Imagine if both sides in the foolish argument were to pray this way! This is a spiritual battle, and we must not give the devil a foothold.

Lord, please grant us all repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, so that we would live and act as Your servants.