³Honor widows who are widows indeed; ⁴but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.

We are to honor three categories of people, according to Paul’s letter to Timothy. (Interestingly, the word for “honor” in Greek is “time,” from which the name Timothy is derived.) We are to honor God, who is a category in Himself (1 Tim. 1:17, 6:16), the elders (1 Tim. 5:17), and widows. This should tell us something of the importance of how we should treat women who have lost their husbands. With elders, this treatment clearly involves financial remuneration for those we serve exceptionally well (as we shall see later in this chapter). Here the honoring of widows unmistakably includes financial support.

We must remember the socioeconomic status of women, in general, was largely dependent upon the males in their immediate family. A man was considered able to supply for himself, no matter what his age or marital status. Life was much more economically difficult for a woman who was bereft of a husband or male family members. So the general principle is that the church should honor widows through financial support. But wait—there is a clarification: they must be “widows indeed.” In other words, Paul is not talking about all widows, but a specific kind, as he now clarifies.

While honor certainly involves more than financial support, we would not be far off the mark in assuming financial support is the most practical way of showing that honor. The primary responsibility for this support belongs to a widow’s children or grandchildren. Today we can think of all kinds of slightly different circumstances, for example, widows whose children neglect them, or who are left independently wealthy, and we need the wisdom to apply biblical principles in situations that are not identical to the biblical context in which those principles are stated.

Paul admonishes widows who have children and grandchildren not to look automatically to the church to provide their needs, but to throw themselves into serving “their own family,” and for their children to honor their parents. In other words, widows don’t get a free pass from true piety (see James 1:27). Paul wants even widows to avoid the victim mentality and an attitude of dependency. Despite their adverse circumstances, they still have a responsibility to serve others and fulfill their responsibilities. This is ideal, and it is as “acceptable” to God as is men praying for governmental leaders concerning a peaceful life.

Lord, help me meet my needs with what You find acceptable.