¹Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, ²the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Blood is thicker than water” is an old saying of unknown origin that conveys the idea that those related by family connections (by blood) tend to bond more than those who are not. Friends and acquaintances tend to come and go, but even when we recognize exceptions, family connections generally endure throughout life.

Transferring this concept to the local church, the local manifestation of the family of God, needs some teaching. Believers have been born into a spiritual family with God as our Father. This is not the same as joining a civic club. The church is really and truly a family. We can’t just come and go as we please, but like our physical family, we remain connected—for all eternity. So we need to learn how to act like family now.

We have learned to relate to our physical family in ways affected by our upbringing, not all of which are positive, constructive, or loving! But in the church, we are called to be an ideal family—with people who do not share our childhood history. Contrasting personalities, different upbringings and backgrounds, ethnicity dissimilarities, divergent gender perspectives, contrasting socioeconomic strata, various levels of victory over sin, and diverse levels of spiritual maturity, and the list goes on. How, then, do we (or how should we) behave toward one another?

Paul boils it down in these two verses and then goes on to expand on the treatment of older women. But first, if we put ourselves into Timothy’s place as we read this, we see that we are to treat older men as fathers. The way Paul puts this recognizes that one of the greatest challenges in male interpersonal tension is learning how to act toward someone with whom we disagree. Younger men need to bridle their natural aggression and tendency to fight it out, as it were. This is especially true when dealing with those men who are older. Appealing to them as a father is to show them respect. We think of Paul’s appeal to Philemon as an example of great respect when trying to influence the man (see the NT book named after Paul’s letter to that man). As for the younger men, Timothy must treat them as “brothers,” not enemies or opponents with whom he should strive to get his own way. To be sure, all families, even the family of God, will have their conflicts. But these are squabbles of those who love one another.

Lord, help me get along with the men in my fellowship and treat them like fathers and brothers.