¹²I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, ¹³even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor …

Paul was a driven man. He wrote in another place, “If I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel” (1 Cor. 9:16). This comes at least in part from being fully human. He writes honestly about his inner struggles with his background. While he was wonderfully saved by grace, as initially recorded in Acts 9:1–19, he recounted his testimony of salvation in Acts 22:1–21 and Acts 26:4–23 and referenced it multiple times in his epistles. He preached the wonderful grace of God because he never forgot how unworthy he was of that grace! He would never let himself forget it. How could he?

He had persecuted the very church of God for which he was now willing to die! He did not embellish his pre-conversion sinfulness to make a good  conversion testimony (who doesn’t like a good conversion story?). Instead, he told the sobering truth; he refused to minimize how bad it was. He saw himself as “formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor!”

Paul wasn’t beating himself up over this as though he had an unreasonably poor self-image. This was the truth. He violently persecuted the church before he was converted. Hollywood would rightly portray him as a madman, dressed in religious clothes, acting pious on the surface yet dragging Christians from their hiding places, condemning them to death. His self-condemnation as a blasphemer comes from the fact that he persecuted the Christians in the name of God (see Acts 26:9–10)! Yet it was because of the name of Jesus that the believers were willing to risk being persecuted, for they believed that “there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12). Paul is ashamed of his opposition to the name of Jesus.

Unlike people who wallow in their past, Paul saw his shame as a continuous springboard to bask in God’s grace, to preach grace freely, and to be willing to die so that others might hear of that grace. He stands amazed and grateful that “Christ Jesus our Lord” (never skimping in his reference to the Lord) put him into service of the gospel. From the depths of opposition to the forward lines of spreading the message of grace, how good is that?! God considered that Paul would be a faithful servant, so He gave the strength to do it. God provides the ability; we provide the faithfulness. Winning combination!

Lord, I commit to being faithful. Help my unfaithfulness—in Your grace.