¹⁴If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame. ¹⁵Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

Difficult things in the life of a church never come easily. While there are a few that can be hard-nosed about church discipline, it isn’t easy for most believers. The hesitation may have its root in fear of conflict, or concern about being judgmental (“let him without sin cast the first stone”), or simply uncertainty in how to deal with others’ sin. The new believers in Thessalonica needed instructions. Of course, as with many passages of Scripture, this one leaves many details for godly people to work through and apply wisely in the various situations that arise. But the basics must be firmed up.

First, the writings of the NT are inspired by God and authoritative. Lest anyone think Paul’s requirement for obedience to his teaching is self-serving, Peter affirmed Paul’s teaching as having the authority of Scripture (2 Peter 3:16). Second, the apostle makes it clear that he is not conveying a personal preference that his readers can take or leave at their own discretion. He means this teaching to be followed. Third, our contemporary culture’s resistance to truth must succumb to God’s trans-cultural truth, as revealed in the Word. We must obey God rather than the human culture of our day, even when His ways are directly contrary to our culture.

As to the specific issue at hand, Paul instructs the church about how to deal with someone who directly defies his instructions: “Take special note of that person.” In other words, don’t deal in generalities or innuendoes; don’t let your actions be ambiguous. Deal with specific people with their specific disobedience. Further, pull back your fellowship with that person. This is the weightiest response if the person is a genuine believer and is also a protection to the body of believers if that person is masquerading as a believer. Either way, withdrawing fellowship will bring shame.

In our culture today, we think of shame as the feeling that arises when we compare ourselves unfavorably with others for no valid reason—in other words, shame is considered destructive. But Paul uses the term in a restorative sense. The Greek word translated here includes the sense of turning toward something. Most English translations render this “be ashamed.” The goal of removing fellowship is to cause the person to be ashamed of his own disobedience and to turn back to the fellowship. And that is exactly the point Paul is making. Admonish him “as a brother” to restore him, not “as an enemy” to destroy him.

Lord, in shame I confess my disobediences, but I thank You for forgiveness.