¹⁹All this time you have been thinking that we are defending ourselves to you. Actually, it is in the sight of God that we have been speaking in Christ; and all for your upbuilding, beloved. ²⁰For I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish and may be found by you to be not what you wish; that perhaps there will be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders, gossip, arrogance, disturbances; ²¹I am afraid that when I come again my God may humiliate me before you, and I may mourn over many of those who have sinned in the past and not repented of the impurity, immorality and sensuality which they have practiced.

Sarcasm and satire aside, Paul speaks plainly about what motivates him in his many visits and letters to the Corinthians. His primary motive is not, as many of them think, to defend his apostleship. Yes, he does that at times, but only because they, as all Christians do, need to understand the authority of God’s gift of apostleship to them. His defense is not for the sake of a power struggle for prominence and control. He is not insecure in his calling but perfectly confident, regardless of how the Corinthians view him.

Paul now writes straightforwardly. He has written to them “in the sight of God,” who is witness to all that happens. There is no pulling the proverbial wool over His eyes regarding our behavior in the church (see Heb. 4:13). In other words, God is in the room, and He knows the true motives of all people. Further, Paul is “speaking in Christ,” as the Lord’s representative, in the spirit of Christ. What he has been saying is truly spiritual. He is concerned about “upbuilding,” not his own benefit. This word is translated elsewhere as “edifying.” Paul is driven to edify, to equip the Corinthians for their service for God, and that includes helping them grow in every way into the fullness of Christ. Finally, he calls them “beloved.” He does not write as a cold-hearted academic or a power-hungry oligarch, intent on building and controlling his following. He genuinely loves the Corinthians, even his detractors among them.

There is always the risk that godly teaching will be rejected even with the best, most spiritual efforts, and Paul fears this. He is not casual about this, as though he were ready to shake off the dust from his feet and simply move on from the Corinthians. For them to reject his teaching is Paul’s greatest fear! For them not to repent of the litany of sins he lists here would be humiliating to them, for it would demonstrate conclusively that they were only interested in themselves and not in Christ and Him crucified. That would also be humiliating to Paul, for it would mean his teachings and efforts were in vain.

Lord, I repent of my sin so that the teaching of Christ and Him crucified would not be vain in my life.