²⁴ So Simon Peter gestured to him, and said to him, “Tell us who it is of whom He is speaking.”

Indications of an eyewitness testimony, John pictures for us the gesture of Peter. The two must have been some distance apart at the dinner table as they reclined, but close enough to carry on a somewhat private conversation; possibly Jesus was preoccupied in conversation with someone else and Peter possibly mouthed the question to John. As in all cultures, a dinner party invokes many side conversations, and this may very well have been the case. The whole record of the Upper Room conversation in this gospel account would not account for the whole conversation taking place, judging from a mere time perspective.

Why would not Peter have asked Jesus directly; why go through John? Was it just a matter of position at the table? That seems hardly likely since the number in the Upper Room would not prevent someone even at the far end of the table from speaking up in everyone’s hearing. Certainly Jesus’ speaking to the whole group would indicate that. Could it be that Peter was conferring with the “inner circle” (which would ostensibly include James as well) for the purpose of discussing this matter of betrayal with Jesus more privately? In that way, Jesus could confide in them, and then they could take care of the matter for Him?

Or could it be that Peter was still smarting from Jesus’ rebuking him for resisting the foot-washing, and therefore was a bit reticent to address this new issue? We will never know for sure, but our suspicions are with the last suggestion; Peter was beginning to feel less confident in Jesus’ approval of him. With all the assertions of loyalty coming yet, we can possibly see an increase in uneasiness on all the disciples’ part, especially Peter’s, culminating with his adamant and strong vow of loyalty that he would never deny Christ. Was he speaking out of a fomenting insecurity? The truth is that he eventually denied Christ three times so we know how it ended up. Such strong proclamations often reveal one’s trying to prove himself. So his reticence in the Upper Room to speak about the betrayer may have been the beginning of Peter’s self-doubt.

In Peter, we see a humility lesson in the making. We are called upon to be loyal to Christ and we dare not set a lower goal than that. At the same time, we are called to humility by the recognition of our human failings. The balance point between these forms the fulcrum of spiritual life that is following Christ.

Lord, I humbly follow You loyally and boldly, recognizing that my walk is not yet perfect. But my goal is to never deny or betray You.