Knowing Christ in the power of his resurrection is one thing. But many Christians are satisfied with a message where they are well-fed, like the multitudes of John 6 that followed Christ. “Jesus answered them and said, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled’ ” (John 6:26). When the Lord’s teaching turned difficult, “many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore” (John 6:66). Miraculous powers and signs do attract attention to a miraculous working God. If that, however, is the only thing people are looking for, they will be sorely disappointed in Christ.

Paul also wanted to know Christ in the “fellowship of his sufferings, being conformed to his death.” But who really wants suffering? Is Paul super-human, super spiritual? No. It was not the suffering that he desired, but he wanted to experience the depth of fellowship that only suffering can uncover. Think of Peter and John when they had been imprisoned for the first time in the early days of the church. After being flogged and released, “They went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name” (Acts 5:41).

Could it be that Paul, as one untimely born (1 Cor 15:8), was reflecting on the fact that he was not there when Christ went through his suffering and death? Like a builder who wants to see his structure put to the ultimate stress test, Paul desired to see Christ’s ability to see him through the ultimate stress test of life – suffering and persecution. But can a Christian experience the very presence of Christ and His comfort in the middle of vexing circumstances? Can there be intimate fellowship with the God who cares when our suffering tempts us to scream out that He doesn’t care? Can we have confident fellowship with the mighty God of the universe when our weakened soul is tempted to think He is unable to do anything with our situation?

Precisely in times of suffering we can begin to understand that He is in fact greater than we are. His mystery overwhelms us—but in a most excellent way. In suffering we cling to truths like, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law” (Deut 29:29). Even in the ultimate suffering of death, God speaks to us: ^“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones” (Ps 116:15).