Glass half-empty, negative attitude, or in the words of our passage today, “grumbling or complaining”—this kind of behavior does not portray a family resemblance to God. But what is so wrong with being like that? After all, none of us is above such tactics.

Well, first off Paul indicates that this resembles a “crooked and perverse” lifestyle. Strong words! The trouble is that complainers and grumblers don’t see themselves that way. They are just “speaking their minds” or “setting the record straight.” But all along Paul has been admonishing the Philippians to not act like Gentiles, that is, like the unsaved world. While complaining and grumbling may characterize the unsaved world, it should not be normative for Christians. We have changed family allegiances and now belong to the family of God. Thus there should be a godly family resemblance. Christians should reflect Christ in the world, we should act like lights. Grumbling and complaining darkens the world, it hides Christ from view. When people see Christians acting like that, they don’t see Christ, they see people like themselves. What good is that? Further, when we grumble and complain before each other, we don’t help each other become like Christ or learn about His grace. We need to model Christ-like behavior.

Interestingly, this teaching is not original with Paul. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matt 5:9). Grumbling and complaining do not bring conflicting people together. Peacemakers don’t inherently act like that. Peacemakers, whose words build up and bring together, show the family resemblance of God, hence they are “called sons of God.” (In biblical times, to call someone “the son of …” someone or something meant that they had the characteristics of that person or thing).

A grumbler or complainer is a person who, knowing he cannot change something, reverts to words designed not to change anything, but to let his displeasure be known. It is classic passive-aggressive behavior, to resist with words without necessarily resisting physi­cally. God did not look very leniently on the “rabble” during the Exodus period of Israel (see for example the sons of Korah in Exodus 16), nor does He look favorably on it today.