¹⁰I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment, ¹¹who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me. ¹²I have sent him back to you in person, that is, sending my very heart, ¹³whom I wished to keep with me, so that on your behalf he might minister to me in my imprisonment for the gospel; ¹⁴but without your consent I did not want to do anything, so that your goodness would not be, in effect, by compulsion but of your own free will.

The details are enlightening as Paul lays out the background to his request. But he begins with appeal. This is the same word used in Romans 12:1, translated, “I urge [or “appeal to”] you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice . . .” It is a strong word, not a mere wish for Philemon to take or leave at his discretion. Although Paul is not using his apostolic authority, he is speaking strongly into Philemon’s life, as any Christian might (and should, at times, when another needs admonishment). In this case, Philemon has done nothing wrong, but Paul now has a vested interested in ensuring Philemon continues his “fellowship of faith” in regards to this new-to-him situation of dealing with his runaway slave who is now a believer.

Paul now identifies Onesimus, firstly, as his child in the faith. In other words, Paul led him to faith while both were in prison. Onesimus must have gained some freedom of movement, even though he was still legally a slave. Paul could have been greatly helped in prison by having this new convert around, possibly to bring food, clothing, and other help as needed. But he has “sent him back” to Philemon (probably carrying this very letter with him to Philemon). Before, he was a complete financial loss to Philemon, along with the slave service he had previously supplied for his master. But now, as a believer, he can be of use, whether to Paul or to his former slave master.

Paul, respecting his friend’s legal rights, sends the runaway slave back—but with many caveats. First, this young man now is beloved by Paul. That changes things considerably. Paul is sacrificing his own benefit in sending Onesimus back. He could be tremendously helped by the fellowship of this new believer who would be serving as it were on Philemon’s behalf. But instead he sends the Christian slave back so that he can be of spiritual benefit to Philemon as a brother in Christ. The apostle submits to the consent of Philemon (the slave master Christian) before he simply asserts his authority to keep Onesimus. He does not want to steal from Philemon the opportunity to respond in the goodness of his own free will. What an appeal!

Lord, show me how I can appeal to others in such a gracious, loving way.