¹¹Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. ¹²Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households. ¹³For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.

Arguments are waged on whether Paul now turns to female deacons or to the wives of deacons. And if wives of deacons, why did he not include wives of elders? Paul would be perfectly capable of using the female form for the word “deaconess” as he does in Romans 16:1 in reference to Phoebe. Here in his list of qualifications of church offices, he does not use that word, but the word “gynē,” which as we have noted before has a field of meaning that included both “woman” or “wife.” Which it means depends on its contextual use. Here Paul has been addressing elders and deacons with masculine terms, and now switches to the feminine. If a separate role or office of deaconess were intended, we would expect Paul to have used the feminine form of deacon. But he does not. Secondly, we see the word “gynē” being used in verse 12, where it is clearly used to mean “wife.” Reference to Phoebe as a “deaconess” in Romans 16:1 is beside the point because in that context the meaning of “servant” or helper is a more natural understanding than an assertion of her holding an official office of the church.

We do not put much weight on the absence of teaching about the elders’ wives—for Paul could easily be implying that it goes without saying that a man who has the extensive list of characteristics for an elder would inevitably have a godly wife, or at least should have one that measures up at least to that of a deacon’s wife.

The characteristics outlined for a deacon’s wife are few in number but significant in light of her husband’s role. The damage of a loose-lipped wife can ruin the work of a deacon. One who acts in undignified or intemperate ways will disgrace her deacon-husband, undermining the trust people need to have in him. Thus the characteristics of a man’s wife must be taken into account when the man is being considered as a deacon.

Paul continues on with the domestic proving group for deacons, with comments similar to that of elders. Since much of a deacon’s work is to manage the affairs of the church, he must prove he can handle his private and family life. Finally, Paul assures that the work of deacons is not to be diminished by its nature. Serving well is deserving of the highest standing before Christ.

Lord, I want to become the greatest servant of all, by serving all sacrificially.