“But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.”

One of the most difficult passages in Paul’s writings to interpret, this passage fosters lively debate among commentators and Bible teachers. Three views are offered and reflected in major English translations: 1) Paul is dealing with a father and his unmarried daughter who is past her prime marrying age (NASB); 2) Paul has in view an engaged man’s treatment of his fiancée (ESV); or 3) A sort of “spiritual” marriage is addressed involving a man and woman where sex might be restrained (NEB). Debating the merits of these views would exhaust our space here (see “The Baker Exegetical Commentary on the NT” for an in-depth discussion). On the whole, the interpretation that enjoys the best considered support is the view that Paul is addressing engaged couples. This fits the overall context better than the other views.

The NASB, which we have used in these meditations, wrongly inserts the word “daughter” after “virgin” in verse 36, but “daughter” is not in the original Greek text (it is italicized in the NASB text in contrast with the rest of the verse, which indicates the translators’ belief that it clarifies the meaning of “virgin”). Most other major translations do not include the word “daughter”: the ESV uses “betrothed,” while the NIV and NKJV use simply “virgin.” We take the word “virgin” to refer to the man’s fiancée, the woman to whom he is engaged.

What can we learn from this passage as it fits into the flow of Paul’s teaching, particularly as it applies to engaged couples who have already committed to marriage but have not consummated it fully? Should they break off the engagement? In Paul’s writing here, either option is permissible. The phrases “give in marriage” can be legitimately translated as “let them be married.” If they do marry, that will be permanent. In relationships between the sexes, marriage and singleness are the facts of life and can be complicated. There are many layers involved, and the issue is not always given to black and white commands. Paul gives wisdom as well as recommendations, and his teaching is Spirit-inspired.

Lord, thank You for giving us wise counsel about how to live fully for You.