“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

Rather than provide a compendium of all possible scenarios on how to have a perfect marriage, Scripture addresses a few pressing issues, leaving us to apply that teaching in other situations not explicitly addressed. God in His wisdom has “enriched [us] in Him, in all speech and all knowledge” (1 Cor. 1:5), and as a result, “we have the mind of Christ” (1 Cor. 2:16). Thus we can and must adapt this teaching as needed.

In dealing with an unequally yoked marriage, the question naturally arises: wouldn’t it be better to divorce and become single again, than to remain married to an unbeliever? Especially during times of persecution (as Paul writes in 1 Cor. 7:26, “in view of the present distress”). The answer is this: there is a huge benefit to the unbeliever, because he is “sanctified” by being married to the believer. Using the wider understanding of the word, an unbeliever is “set apart” from the unbelieving world by virtue of being yoked together with a believer. In other words, the yoke goes both ways. It is like a believer riding up a ski chair lift with an unbeliever. The unbeliever is captive to a gospel presentation for the duration of the ride. So also in an unequally yoked marriage. While not advised to enter into such an arrangement, the believer brings Christ into the relationship, and the spouse is captive to that reality.

What about the children? Paul draws upon the imagery of the OT rituals of worship items being sanctified (that is, set apart): to treat them in an everyday, common sort of way was to render them unsanctified or unclean. What makes the most sense is that if the unbeliever leaves, he or she would take the children, who would then lose out on the influence of a godly parent. They would become like the children of pagan parents, and not set apart to God.

In the end, if the unbeliever leaves, the Christian should not feel any obligation toward that spouse. While Christians debate whether this means the believer is free to remarry, the point Paul makes is to not let that become a messy situation (“God has called us to peace”). The believer should not be compelled to fight to keep the marriage together on the basis of its being the only way the unbelieving spouse will come to faith.

Lord, even in the messiest situations, Your teaching helps guide our way.