“But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Young Christians get tied up in knots over this passage, particularly single teens and single young adults, dicing it every which way. For many, singleness is an absolute burden.

It is superficially easy to relegate this teaching to the realm of lesser Scripture by the apostle Paul, whose objectivity may be clouded by his own singleness. However, as we said before, we must keep in mind he is not writing an exhaustive treatise on romantic relationships.

In fact, Paul limits his comments to “this present distress” (vs. 26). Christianity in Corinth, as elsewhere, was under persecution. Becoming a genuine follower of Christ was tantamount to stepping into the line of fire. While the Corinthians were preoccupied with their own personal well-being and enjoyment of life, Paul is challenging them to a selfless lifestyle in “this present distress.” Walking in the world’s ways provides some measure of avoidance of persecution. The Corinthians were missing the boat, and one area where it showed was in their romantic relationships.

Paul subjects such relationships to a higher calling than just the self-benefits that marriage brings. So to those who are single (he uses the term “unmarried” to include widows and widowers, divorcees, etc.), he writes that being unattached is a good thing. He has more to say about this later—remember he is developing his thought over many verses. Being married is not bad, and in fact if one can’t control his or her passions, then getting married is better than the continual, distracting struggle of sexual desires.

Does this mean that the only reason for marriage, then, is to satisfy sexual desires? Of course not. First of all, God commands marriage as a baseline of human community (see Genesis 1–2), he extolls sexual passion and love in the Song of Solomon, and He uses marriage as a symbol of Christ and the church. He commands love and respect in marriage. So there is more to it than a solution to uncontrolled passion. But it nonetheless does have that benefit—to temper uncontrolled passion, giving it an acceptable outlet.

Why does Paul say all this to the Corinthians? Because their approach to relationships was entirely self-centered. He cuts to the chase: single people can devote more time to the Lord’s service during the time of persecution than married people whose focus is primarily, and rightly so, on their families.

Lord, help me to live a life focused on others rather than on my own enjoyments.