Popular advice flows freely with a warm, knowing look and firm but compassionate voice, “Follow your heart.” Should I marry this person who makes me feel good, move to that city where the weather is nicer, take the better-paying job, or go into debt for the dream vacation or a sporty car? Follow your heart.

Life is filled with decisions, some mundane and some life-altering. Some affect only ourselves, and some have far-reaching ramifications for others. What principles should we lean on for making the best decisions? Is the mental montage simply composed of competing feelings, with the overriding one described as “your heart.” What exactly does that mean?

Feelings may be a factor to consider; we can’t deny their reality and influence on our thinking, but Scripture cautions us to reign them in and not to rely on them for guidance:

“He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered.” (Prov. 28:26)

At best, our feelings can mislead us, and at worst, distort reality:

“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds.” (Jer. 17:9–10)

The treachery (not too strong of a descriptive word) of feelings is that they are like a person that befriends us only to ultimately harm us. Feels seem to lead us in a way that is best for us but they can easily lead us in the wrong direction, making us spiritually sick with disastrous results. So, how do we counter the propensity of our hearts toward self-destruction? Scripture gives us the way:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Prov. 3:5)

We must trust the Lord with our whole being, including the “heart.” In the Hebrew mindset, the word often refers to the seat of our volition or will, not just emotional feelings. However, the sense here is to not lean on our sense of wisdom and perception, and that would include the popular notion today of our heart referring to our deep feelings, that inner self that is innately self-serving.

How can we wean ourselves away from the strong pull of deceptive feelings that seem so right and good? Again, the Scripture counsels us:

“Delight yourself in the LORD ; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps. 37:4)

In Christian decision-making, the best offense is not a good defense, but rather, the best defense against our feelings deceiving us into wrong decisions is with a good offense. We need to develop a proactive life of delighting in the Lord! The more we focus on Him, learning about Him and His love for us, relishing our identity in Him, and keeping our eyes focused on Him in worship, praise, and obedience, the more our hearts (including our emotions) are tuned in to His heart. When we delight in Him, our desires align with His, and He, in turn, delights in giving us those godly desires.

So, in the conscious decisions we face in life, we can only follow our hearts if, and only if, our hearts are set on the Lord. Then, our emotions and our will come together for what God desires. On a practical level, we must first and foremost ask, “What does God desire for this decision in my life?” There is more to be said about this, but this truth needs to be the highest controlling factor in our lives. All other practical considerations that factor into decision-making emanate from this central theme.