When I was younger, like in my 20s, I discovered a way to get an education at NO COST. College and university degrees are enormously pricey, but there is an easy and inexpensive way to gain wisdom and smarts.

This idea that I’ve stumbled across taps into the fact that people love to give advice. If I have a plumbing problem in my house, the guys at the local hardware shop are more than willing to dispense their knowledge, telling me the right gadget, tool, or part I need and even how to fix something. The cost to me for this education? The humbleness to ask for help!

My wife and I wanted to be sure we were raising our children in the ways of the Lord and as contributing members of society. We got a free education for this task by asking simple questions of those who had older or adult children—questions like the following:

• What advice would you give to people like us about raising children (at this stage of life)?
• What would you do differently if you had to do it all over again?

My wife and I would then discuss the response and correlate the answers with how their children “turned out.” This was not an exercise in judgmentalism but an evaluation of “cause & effect.” Throughout my life, I have often tried to become wiser by adding others’ wisdom to mine and learning from their experiences. I never wanted to be someone who thought I didn’t need other people’s wisdom.

An analogy might help to drive this point home. A friend of mine had an encounter with the owner of a jam-packed Army-Navy surplus store. The man was known to be quite wealthy but somewhat unrefined in his appearance and mannerisms. My friend, while browsing through the store one day and trying to make friendly conversation, said to him, “If I had your money, I’d throw my money away.” That was his folksy way of complimenting a person on their financial success. The wealthy man responded wryly, “If I had your money, I would add it to mine.” No wonder he was rich!

Why not add other people’s knowledge, insights, and acumen to our own so that we become rich in wisdom—even when we don’t think they may have much wisdom to benefit us? Unfortunately, we tend to put up barriers to such free education: pride in not wanting to look ignorant or stupid, trying to sound smart, not knowing the right questions to ask. The biggest barrier to adding other people’s wisdom to ours is the insanely egotistical compulsion to impress people with what we know. I am no longer in my 20s, but I still find that constant pressure welling up in me to dispense my “great wisdom.” If I have any wisdom to dispense, I am better off waiting until others are ready.

How will I know if someone will be receptive to my “wisdom”? I’ve learned from watching others who are wiser and older than me to wait until I am asked for advice! In the meantime, I am still adding wisdom from others by doing the asking and listening. I am trying to practice what I preach. For example, when I was in my early 60s, I frequently watched, asked, and listened to older people to gain their wisdom and insight in navigating my “senior” years. What a tremendous and free education!

If you have read this far, I assume you want my advice—if not, thanks for humoring me. My advice now is this: don’t be afraid to ask for advice, insights, and wisdom from older people who have traveled down the road ahead of you. Why miss out on a free education?

Here are some generic questions to help you gain wisdom. Feel free to modify these to suit your tastes and personality. The main idea is to listen and learn, asking God for wisdom that you can glean from their answers:

• What advice can you give me as a younger Christian to grow spiritually?
• How do you pray? What is your Bible reading plan?
• What are the most challenging things in your Christian walk?
• What is the most difficult part of being a Christian in your workplace?
• Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest? And why?
• If you could ask God any question, what would it be?
• What are the five best books besides the Bible that you have read?
• What ethical decisions have you had to make in your life that were very difficult?
• What is a miracle that has happened in your life?
• Tell me about what God has been doing in your life recently.
• For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
• If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
• What advice would you have for me in raising children?
• What advice would you have for me to make a better marriage?
• What would you do differently in your marriage if you were to start all over again?
• If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? 
• What do you value most in a friendship?
• How would you describe God in three words?
• What things have been the most helpful to you in living the Christian life?
• Which person in the Bible would you most like to meet (besides Jesus)?