¹But I determined this for my own sake, that I would not come to you in sorrow again. ²For if I cause you sorrow, who then makes me glad but the one whom I made sorrowful? ³This is the very thing I wrote you, so that when I came, I would not have sorrow from those who ought to make me rejoice; having confidence in you all that my joy would be the joy of you all. ⁴For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not so that you would be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you.

His heart is on his sleeve, so to speak. Paul was a passionate, feeling individual. To be sure, he was adamant about right doctrine, particularly when it came the purity of the gospel (see Gal. 1:8–9). He strongly warned elders to be on guard against false teachers (Acts 20:28–30). And much of his writings are doctrinally focused and theologically founded. But he was not a sterile, unfeeling academic, like some stern medieval ecclesiastical cleric. He was a people person! He loved people. And he loved the Corinthians, erring in their Christian walk as they were.

His actions toward them at this point in his writing were based on his feelings for them, not wanting to cause them sorrow. Notice the intimacy expressed here. This letter is probably the most autobiographical of all Paul’s writings, for he pulls back the curtains of his heart for us to see his inner emotions. That is a sign of a godly leader, a true servant of the Lord. That is a holistic approach to ministry, and we would do well to imitate Paul on this front (“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ,” as he says in 1 Corinthians 11).

To cause the Corinthians unnecessary sorrow would leave Paul in a remorseful state himself. Was he afraid his emotions would get the better of him if he visited prematurely, so he wrote them this letter to deal with the pertinent issues remotely rather than in person? We can’t answer the question definitely, but we can be thankful for that decision, for as a result we do have this letter to the Corinthians from which we can learn.

Notice the repetition of the words “sorrow” and “joy/glad” and the distinctive words “affliction,” “anguish,” and “tears.” Emotions are real and should not be dismissed as superficial. He was concerned about their reaction to his previous teaching and did not want to rub their noses in it, so to speak. It was not easy for him to write what he did in admonishing them, but he had to do it. And now, he was concerned about helping them emotionally recover from it.

Lord, I want to find balance in correcting those who are erring in their walk with Christ and emotionally connecting with them as fellow servants of Christ